Shivapriya Ganapathy – orinam

Poem: What’s in a goodbye?

Shivapriya Ganapathy — Mon, 30 Sep 2019 17:44:55 +0000

years from now
i might wake up one night and
would want to know
why you left
so hurriedly. probably the crude
details staring stark might be
the only ones left to chew–
the unanswered texts,
a voice bellowing on the other end
of our last phone call, and pain
stabbing a familiar void onto my chest.
we would forget us, all
those moments we smiled just because.
like the sea that erodes its own waves
this too would erode
us lost in a time
when love was nascent
and us cupped in a seashell of a world
where the sea was still,
the wind and waves never whispered
goodbye

Notes:

This poem was read by Shivapriya at the Pride 2019 edition of Orinam’s Quilt, held on June 16, 2019, at ICSA Chennai.
Image above adapted from ‘Coastal Erosion at Mount Lavinia Hotel’ by Pol van den Scheetek, WIkimedia Commons licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license here.

poem: How do we go home?

Shivapriya Ganapathy — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 02:12:51 +0000

I forgot how to go home,
I tell her
As I search the closet
Blue, green, red, black
Dammit, what!
What colour is home?
Is it happy? Or are the
Walls still damp?
Do the questions still linger on
the gates: this face is of a
girl? a boy? or is it just mine?
Is it happy enough?
Is my hair the right length?
Am I to wear a shirt, a hat
A gown, a what?
or simply a tag that says
I’m person enough and to hell with all?
I forgot–
I forgot how I ever went home
“You wear masks at home?”
She asks me quietly
I look-
Don’t we all?

poem: Call me FemiNazi

Shivapriya Ganapathy — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:24:47 +0000

Unclothe me with your eyes,
Hungry hands and mind,
Or your words
that spell like fear
of your sex’s weakness.
I am not ashamed
I am but a woman.

Hear my story,
Turn a deaf ear, shy away
Walk past, plugging me out,
Cry or console my loss,
Chide me, ask me to shut up.
Ignore me.
I still shriek of injustice
I am but a woman.

Call me the goddess, your alter ego,
The prostitute or the slut,
the feminazi,
The woman you can only
dream of bedding, or
The whore you fucked
last night,
Or your mother
I am multiple orgasms
I am but a woman.

Shred my ego to pieces,
revel in chivalry
Or slap me down
grovelling in the gravel
Mould me to your choice
I will be the lady
and the bitch
I am everything.
I am but a woman

Ban my blood and
own my womb
Taboo my body
for three whole days
Seed it with lust the next
I choose to be childless, to bleed freely
I am but a woman.

Don’t love my love handles,
put me down with my weight
My full grown body
an eyesore.
Try me into body issues
I will not fit in
I am but a woman

Say I am too modern,
Outrageous, or too traditional
to suit your tastes
Judge me with the size of my bindhi
Or the way I drape my
Sari just below
my navel, or the swiftness
with which I cover my head
when seen,
Or my six inch heel.
I am the permanent outcast
I am but a woman.

Thrust upon me
masks of masculinity
Penis-obsessed,
your hard rock ego boosts with
each sloppy kiss-
That testosterone high
Fails to stir me enough
I prefer women
I am but a woman.

Shivapriya first read this poem at the Queer and Ally Arts Festival on May 8, 2016, in Chennai. It was subsequently published in FeminismInIndia.