Hi rashmi, sorry for posting this late response. But i am not of the same wavelength in this regard. when i put down the second point, the key essence breaks down to this, My past is my own and no one else gets an easy preview to it and neither was i advocating the immediate outing at first date, But if one decides to take the relationship beyond first date, I would fully reveal my past before getting it any further. II mean effectively it boils down to this, would you start a relationship hiding your past? If you answer is no, then the ideal time to tell you potential partner is before things start to get physical.

Thanks Rashmi for getting us to remember those who have lost their lives because of transphobia. Transphobic violence – whether directed at transgender people, or at those who do not consider themselves transgender, but nevertheless defy gendered norms of appearance (effeminate boys/men, masculine girls/women, cross-dressers) – has been responsible for many direct assaults and homicides here in Tamil Nadu and elsewhere in India.

The Karnataka People’s Union for Civil Liberties report on Human Rights Violations details some horrific experiences of transphobic violence based on interviews with kothi and hijra sex workers in Bangalore. It is downloadable from http://sangama.org/files/PUCL%20Report.pdf

Equally insidious is the indirect killing of trans and genderqueer people through neglect in healthcare settings. It is partly the fear of transphobia from healthcare providers that prevents trans and genderqueer people from seeking medical treatment, leading to deaths from diseases that could have been prevented had they sought treatment earlier.

Let us also remember the suicides of trans and genderqueer people who chose to end their lives rather than continue to face violence and trauma.

Thanks Brenda. Very well articulated.
I however disagree with the second point. While it might be a good idea and suggestion, I don’t think it is necessary and the decision to share the past should be absolutely the individual’s prerogative . If my date is a jerk, and if the person finds it a necessity to share my entire past, it puts trans folks at a higher morality than the rest, which in my eyes is prejudicial. This is a nice gesture if my date is forthcoming about themselves and not be a hypocrite in demanding from me alone.
There is a thought amongst some Trans folks in the community that having to share the past is retrogressive. While I have my concerns about that, I support their choice to make a decision about their own lives.
Thanks for sharing Brenda. I look forward to more discussions with you 🙂 Hugs!!!

Secondly, if dating someone who is unaware of the past, let them know the truth before both your lips meet. (if the other person is phobia the things can get really violent if they feel threated that they are gay)

unexpected events do happen at dates so if you are on a date, it is always better to leave your whereabouts some good friend or acquaintance and most importantly have them call you in the middle of the date for a casual checkup.