My parents’ reaction was to force me into silence because of fear of social disapprobation and their own prejudices from lack of awareness. Unable to assert my identity and communicate my lack of interest in marriage forcefully enough, I ended up yielding to my parents’ wishes and entering into an arranged marriage with a cis man. I have two children from the marriage. 
However, my gender dysphoria did not fade away. It made its presence felt even stronger, forcing me to accept my authentic self, or else, cease to exist. I chose the former option, despite the many challenges it was bound to bring up. I came out as a man to the people whom I had been lying to for ages.
Following a divorce by mutual consent, and the decision to co-parent the children with my ex-spouse, I needed to relocate from one part of India to another. Prior to my move, I began looking around for schools in the new city that would be welcoming of children from non-traditional families. I was fortunate enough to secure admission for my children in one such school – the teachers and administration were unfazed by my coming out to them.
While looking to rent a place close to the school, I meanwhile had to stay with my transphobic parents. As a pre-testosterone man, I present as much younger than I actually am. So, when I
informed prospective lessors that the house was to be for my children and me, they started asking intrusive and insensitive questions and passed snide remarks about me.
Many saw me, a young-looking man with two young girls, as a predator. Whenever they saw the three of us, they would repeatedly ask what my relationship was to the kids. To minimise these intrusive questions, I had started to lie that my partner/spouse works abroad and that I am a stay-at-home dad. However, the term “stay-at-home dad” prompted even more insensitive questions, with some even questioning my masculinity as a father who opted to stay at home rather than go to work and earn money.
People still do not understand that parenting is a responsibility irrespective of the parents’ gender. In my apartment-hunting quest, I have maintained silence about being a person of trans experience, as I do not want to further jeopardise the safety and well-being of my children and me in a society insensitive towards gender diversity.
As my search continues, I cannot help but yearn for a world that is like my children’s school: accepting of diverse families, including single-parent, queer and trans ones.
* Name changed.
* Picture credits: Daughters of Tarun
The authors are a group of gender non-binary, gender non-conforming students from various educational institutions, who have experienced the horrors of the gender non-inclusive education system. Both individuals and trans/queer groups may endorse the letter.
The full Statement is at: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1739CSyu5q_xSeFvkUvfFXUQopYtLd3jZ/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=114555905071788929193&rtpof=true&sd=true
You can endorse the statement by clicking on this link https://forms.gle/4YK1ZH2Pn7q7aW1t5
Any suggestion for addition or modification to the Public Statement can be mailed at huz208546@iitd.ac.in or Qiz208582@iitd.ac.in
Dear Peers,
I hope all of you are doing well.
I write to all of you on a sombre note because of the series of events that have transpired this month regarding the teacher’s training manual formulated and published by NCERT to make educational avenues more enabling, inclusive and accessible for transgender and gender non-conforming persons. The redaction of the manual and the institutional attitude of human rights oversight bodies signals worrying trends in India.
The purpose of this message is to seek your support and endorsement of the public statement that would be sent to important stakeholders for their immediate retrospection and actions, failing which we* plan to seek legal remedy.
Your support, endorsement and suggestions will be highly valuable. In rage, we unite!
Link to the Statement – https://docs.google.com/document/d/1739CSyu5q_xSeFvkUvfFXUQopYtLd3jZ/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=114555905071788929193&rtpof=true&sd=true
The authors are a group of gender non-binary, gender non-conforming students from various educational institutions, who have experienced the horrors of the gender non-inclusive education system.
]]>The report states that the two young men consumed poison on March 2, unable to bear the taunts and harassment of peers who ridiculed their close friendship and ragged them based on this. They were rushed to the Government Rajaji Hospital, Madurai, where one passed away four days ago, and one this morning.
While they are not alive to comment on the nature of their relationship, it seems clear that the ragging they faced was motivated by homophobia.
Three years ago, in 2016, the University Grants Commission published its 3rd Amendment of the Anti-Ragging Regulations. This amendment expressly prohibits ragging based on sexual orientation and gender identity (including transgender), among other factors. While most colleges and universities around the country display their anti-ragging regulations and even organise sessions on ragging during orientation for incoming batches, ignorance of this amendment – and the vulnerability of gender-nonconforming, queer and trans students to ragging – is pervasive (see Queerala’s study of colleges in Kerala).
Six months after the Navtej Singh Johar verdict, homophobia, lesbophobia and transphobia are alive and flourishing. They are reflected in statements by the police that same-gender relationships, though decriminalised, are against ‘our’ culture; in attempts by parents to separate their adult progeny who are in queer/trans relationships with their lovers and place them under house arrest (individuals in six such cases reached Orinam for support from Dec 2018 to February 2019); and in continuing violence faced by students in educational institutions, leading to hate crimes such as the Madurai suicides.
| “Also to note is the unavailability of proper (stigma-free and LGBTIQ+ inclusive) mental health care access, where people in a state of emergency are not able to immediately think of an option. We need this both in educational institutions and elsewhere, in addition to measures to prevent bullying” – Shyam, Orinam volunteer from Coimbatore |
When will the prejudice and hate stop?
Notes:
- For crisis support and suicide hotline information, visit https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/lgbt/crisis-support/
- For information on how educational institutions can be LGBTIQA+ inclusive, see https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/educational-institutions/
- Thanks to Gokul for translation support.
The findings of her study are available here. The abstract of her study is presented below, from genderdiversityandschools.in/research-design/
“I present the results of a first of its kind qualitative study to understand the experiences of queer students during their K-12 education in India. “Queer” signifies various counter-heteronormative identities apart only from lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgender (Narrain and Bhan, 2005; Menon, 2008). Using semi-structured interviews with self- identified queer persons of <=25 years of age, focus group discussions and expert interviews, I develop a coding scheme based in grounded theory and guided by Olweus’ (1993) definition of bullying.
I find that: 1. Gender non-conforming students are labelled as gay, lesbian or transgender and are bullied verbally, physically, sexually and relationally by students, teachers and administrators, regardless of their actual sexual orientation. 2. Perhaps, due to the androcentricism and invisibility of female sexuality, gender non-conforming PAGFB are subjected to less bullying than gender non-conforming PAGMB, up to a certain point. 3. Schools are sex negative with little or no sexuality education, and no policies prohibiting bullying. Complaints are either trivialized or bullied students are blamed for bringing this upon themselves by being gender non-conforming. Bullied participants report isolation, depression, fall in grades and educational aspiration, suicidal ideation and increased absenteeism but many also excel academically and in co-curriculars. Some love school as it is the only place that they can be themselves. Participants and experts suggest that comprehensive sexuality education and inculcating equal respect through effective school and state based policies may create more inclusive school climates.”
I attempt a model “Anti-Discrimination and Sexual Rights” policy based on my findings, legal decisions and suggestions from participants and experts.
Click here, or on the image below to go to the website:
Editors’ note: This post has been added to Orinam’s compilation of resources for educational institutions in India, at https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/educational-institutions/
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January 16, 2017: Asmita Sarkar, 19, a second-year undergraduate student of sociology at Jadavpur University, is contesting the upcoming student elections on campus as a representative of the All India Students Association (AISA). A candidate for the position of Assistant General Secretary, Arts, Asmita is perhaps the first out queer ciswoman to contest student elections in India*.
Asmita came out to herself at age 12, while a student in her hometown in Bardhaman. Growing up, she internalized prevailing notions that homosexuality was unnatural. “But later when I started gaining more and more knowledge, I started understanding and getting my identity clear”, she says.
A national-level badminton player and photography enthusiast, Asmita has been actively involved in campus activism around gender-based discrimination.
When asked about her decision to represent AISA, she said “AISA gave me a platform to uphold my identity in front of the students of JU”, noting that Left parties had, by and large, responded positively to LGBTIQ+ issues. Incidentally, the first reported out LGBTIQ+ candidate, JNU’s Gourab Ghosh, also contested as a Left party candidate in 2013.
As a key election issue, Asmita is championing the cause of LGBTIQ+ acceptance in society, both on- and off-campus. She wants to counter myths that same-sex desire and transgender identities are unnatural, and to mobilize public opinion against Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. She strongly feels that basic sex, gender and sexuality education, including LGBTIQ+ issues, should be given to school-going students. She asks that admission in educational institutions be accessible to all, based on their aptitude, with no discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation.
Asmita said that JU is relatively LGBTIQ+ friendly as Indian university campuses go, and she has not personally faced any problem on campus due to her identity. She noted that transgender people face much more difficulty. She also questioned the prevailing practice of marking all transgender people as “third gender” on admission forms, a category that not all identify with.
Other issues in Asmita’s election manifesto include proper functioning of the Gender Sensitisation Committee against Sexual Harassment (GSCASH) on campus, and 24×7 availability of sanitary napkin vending machines in all women’s restrooms.
Her accomplishments notwithstanding, Asmita has a long way to go. She is not yet certain about the profession she would take up in the future. Her parents still do not accept her. “I still need to struggle with my family and in neighborhood to [get them to] cope with my identity”, she signs off.
* Readers: please let Orinam know if there have previously been any other out queer women students contesting campus elections in India.
A comprehensive list of Orinam blogposts on educational institutions and LGBTIQA+ issues is at https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/educational-institutions/from-the-blog/.
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At first, Tushar thought that the note slipped under his hostel room door on Oct 11, 2015, was some sort of prank by a fellow student. The next one read: “I am not joking… this is important for both of us as I need the money and your secret won’t get out. If your secret is leaked you will be hated by everyone and your career will be ruined in IISc”.
The notes kept coming. Nine in all, over the course of five days.
And they got nastier. On Oct 16, when the blackmailer realized that Tushar wasn’t about to yield to his demands, he pinned a homophobic note on the hostel notice board outing him.
Says Tushar: “[t]he notice was first seen by one of my friends and removed by him. He brought it over to my room asking me if I was fine and talked with me for a while. Subsequently, sometime during the night, a similar notice was put up with a terse handwritten note at the end “YOU CAN KEEP REMOVING IT. I WILL PRINT MORE“.
Thus outed to the entire hostel, Tushar, who had only been out to his closest friends until then, chose to respond with the following note on the same notice board:
Tushar, who describes himself as ‘shy and a bit introverted’ said he felt relieved upon writing the note. Classmates and fellow-hostelites came up to him to express their support. In the weeks since the incident, he, with the support of friends, lodged a complaint with the university administration. At the time of publishing this note, he is still awaiting formal action in response.
Episodes such as these suggest that even large, supposedly progressive, campuses with support groups and allies, are not immune to bullying and harassment of LGBT students. It raises questions about the ability and willingness of the campus administration to respond swiftly and effectively to complaints received.
The familiarity of the perpetrator with the campus, hostel and locations where he asked the money to be placed, strongly suggests that he is a student, causing his actions to fall within the purview of ragging. The 1998 amendment of the Karnataka Education Act includes in its definition of ragging “causing, inducing, compelling or forcing a student… to do any act which detracts from human dignity or violates his person or exposes him to ridicule or to forbear from doing any lawful act, by intimidating., wrongfully restraining, wrongfully confining, or injuring him or by using criminal force to him or by holding out to him any threat of such intimidation, wrongful restraint, wrongful confinement, injury or the use of criminal force” [1].
Further, the University Grants Commission regulations on ragging, released in 2009, include extortion within their definition [2]. Such anti-ragging policies need to be made explicitly inclusive of homophobic and transphobic bullying, as well.
Finally, while the current Sexual Harassment in the Workplace Act [3] is limited to redressal for ciswomen, we urgently need measures to address sexual harassment, including blackmail and outing threats, of queer and trans individuals who are not ciswomen.
Some Orinam resources to make educational institutions more LGBTIQ* inclusive are here [4], and a list of campus LGBT initiatives including Queer IISc collective is here [5].
We at Orinam are aware that coming out [6] is not a universal or readily available prophylactic for such expressions of homophobia as blackmail and extortion [7], and recognise that such forced outing can have disastrous consequences for many. We also realise that for some of us who are visibly different in our gender expression, being in the closet is not even an option.
The caveats notwithstanding, we applaud Tushar for his courageous response, and stand in solidarity with him and the queer/trans and ally communities at IISc in their efforts to obtain justice.
Tushar is also planning to speak out to his peers on sexuality issues, and hopes that other queer students will find this to be a source of support. He eventually plans to come out to his parents, a rite of passage that – while considered before – hasn’t happened yet.
A shout-out to the friends who have supported him at this time. In the words of Anubhav, a member of the campus LGBT support group Queer IISc who accompanied Tushar to the university administration, “Our friends supported us irrespective of orientation, because a crime is a crime, and victims are our friends, relatives, people who we care for, not ‘gays’, ‘lesbians’ or ‘transgenders’“.
Acknowledgements
Thanks to Tushar and Anubhav for their input, and Advocate Amba Salelkar for pointing out that extortion is covered within the UGC definition if ragging.
References
[1] The Karnataka Education Act, 1983. (with amendments). Online at https://test.orinam.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Karnataka_Ed_Act.pdf
[2] University Grants Commission, 2009. UGC Regulations on Curbing the Menace of Ragging In Higher Educational Institutions. Online at https://test.orinam.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/anti_ragging_UGC_20091.pdf
[3] Ministry of Law and Justice, Government of India. 2013. The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013, Online at http://www.lawyerscollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Sexual-Harassment-at-Workplace-Act.pdf
[4] Orinam, 2009. Resources for Educational Institutions. Online at https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/educational-institutions/
[5] Orinam 2009, updated through 2015. Campus Initiatives. https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/lgbt/campus-initiatives/
[6] Orinam. 2009. Coming Out Stories. Online at https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/lgbt/coming-out-2/coming-out-stories/
[7] Orinam, 2009. Dealing with Extortion. Online at https://new2.orinam.net/resources-for/lgbt/legal-resources/dealing-with-extortion/
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There’s a new hazard to Indian school and college students on the horizon, and it’s particularly toxic for LGBT youth and women of all sexualities. It takes the form of Abhishek Clifford, the CEO of a Mysore-based NGO named Rescue. Or, if you prefer, Paul Clifford Jacob, of Rescue ministry.
As part of the Fresher’s Orientation at SRM University in Chennai, he presented a seminar on ‘Moral Values’ on 19 August 2015 at the University’s main auditorium in Main Campus, Kattankulathur. He gave the lecture to multiple batches of 500 to 1000 students, covering about 5000 students in total. Details below are paraphrased from a report provided by members of Prism, the unofficial LGBT student group at SRM.
He started off with a rant against abortion, and attributed it to consumption of pornography by today’s (heterosexual, cis-male) youth. He claimed that porn leads men to have casual sex, leading to women getting pregnant and seeking out abortions. He spoke about how porn is also the biggest reason for divorce, as it leaves young men unsatisfied with monogamous vanilla relationships and prone to seeking out dalliances with sex workers and other men’s wives. Besides urging a ban on porn, he said traditional sex was the only safe way to have fun.
He then proceeded to show an image of two guys kissing on the screen and talked about how homosexuality is a mental disorder, and how it affects the younger generation. He said there is no possibility of traditional sex between two men, so gay students in the audience should get their sexual orientation changed at conversion therapy centres. He claimed that people could successfully get their orientations change from gay to straight, and proceeded to give an example of a young man who, prior to conversation therapy, used to like pink colour and other people of the same sex. When he turned seventeen, he changed his preferences to blue and to dating girls. Clifford claimed to personally know doctors who have cured “hundreds of homosexuals” with their therapy.
Further investigation by team Orinam shows:
Abhishek Clifford was in the news in 2014 supplying quotes based on a survey by Rescue that linked online porn to sex offences (The Hindu, The New Indian Express, Herald). Among his claims are that about 70 per cent of youth in the 18-21 age group watch four hours of sex videos per week, and that 76 per cent of students said that watching rapes leads to the desire to actually rape someone. In July 2014, Goa’s netizens had protested Clifford being allowed to preach his regressive ideas to school and college students. Rescue was one of two organisations (along with Rhoumaia) that led a protest at Cubbon Park in Bangalore on 31 Aug 2014 demanding the government ban porn sites.
In a sermon given on 30 Aug, 2015, at the Ark Victory Church in Sembakkam, Chennai, he lamented that “We live in a time and culture where pornography, pre-marital sex, LGBT relationships, abortions and many other unnatural practices are the norm of the day.” In that sermon, he proposed reaching out to colleges to initiate discussions on porn, abortion and gay issues, and “sow seeds of God’s truth”.
A Youtube video uploaded by the Eagle Missions ministry featuring Abhishek Clifford has the following blurb “his ministry team reach[es] 50,000 college students a year with the 7 Mountain Mandate, rescuing sex slaves, fighting abortion and porn businesses, while leading to many salvations. They get permission from government officials to speak in public colleges and to raid sex shops. Hear about resurrections and miracles exploding in India.”
The website of Eagle Missions refers to him as Paul Clifford Jacob, one of their missionaries, and to Rescue as a “ministry devoted to shining the light of God’s word in the power of the Spirit in the colleges and though the media in South India”, with plans of reaching 15000 students leveraging “open doors in Muslim, Hindu, Catholic, Government and RSS colleges” [emphasis ours]. Check out their website to read more of Clifford’s insidious agenda.
Incidentally, the Rescue website and FB community site mention nothing of Rescue being a ministry.
Students and school/college administrators: beware of misinformation, hate and fear being sown by Clifford and his ilk.
Take some time to learn about resources for educational institutions, ongoing campus LGBT initiatives, hosting LGBT-inclusive fresher orientations, and what leading doctors in India have to say about conversion therapy.
For those of the Christian faith, note that there are LGBT-inclusive churches in India that are part of the National Council of Churches of India (NCCI). Resources for LGBT Christians are here.
Watch Clifford’s SRM lecture below, if you can stomach it:
We thank Aaditya Joshi of IIT-Bombay and members of Prism, SRM University’s LGBT student group, for information.
]]>Besides lectures, the course also has a two-hour lab exercise on Fridays, that includes group work, skits and other interactive sessions to bring the lecture material to life.
Last Friday, I assigned the students group work to depict, through mime, a prevailing social issue from the syllabus, in about two minutes per group. Each group comprised of five students. One group asked, “Sir, can we present a mime on homosexuality?”
I replied with utmost joy, “Yes. of course! It is part of our syllabus”.
After practising for ten minutes, the group presented the theme as follows:
First, a man proposes to another by kneeling down and offering his hand. The other man accepts his proposal and lifts him up with both his hands, structurally forming a plus sign.
At this juncture a woman appears in the scene and asks the second man to drop the one he was carrying, and hits them both. The second scene depicts ostracism of queer people in a workplace-like set up. In the third scene, a cop comes and handcuffs both individuals, and takes them away, depicting criminalisation of same-gender relationships.
While miming his feelings of love and yearning for his lover, the student playing the role of the man proposing, suddenly blushed and froze, unable to proceed. He stood up and sat again for a re-do. I could understand his difficulty and let him repeat the action. After all, this was his first attempt to put himself in a gay man’s shoes.
While this was happening on stage, I was watching the audience keenly. To my relief, they were attentive. The class applauded spontaneously when one man lifted up the other in the proposal scene. During the other two scenes, the class was silent, indicating they were aware of the grim realities. Once the performance concluded, there was thunderous and long applause.
Other groups presented themes such as callousness of the public in the wake of a road accident, college bullying, dowry, etc.
I shared what happened in my class with my senior academic colleagues. They received the information in a matter-of-fact manner, neither cheering or frowning. But for me, it was not a routine event. My students have made me feel good about them – once again!
I have a long way to go in my efforts to sensitise the academic system. Filters imposed by campus servers prevent me from downloading and showing my own write-ups on queer themes to my students. I continue to wonder how and when I would be able to help establishing a fair and just atmosphere for people who are different from the mainstream.
In the meanwhile, rewards such as my students’ performance in the group exercise are what keep me going.
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On September 17, 2014, we organized ‘Kashish Forward’ in association with Kashish Mumbai International Queer Festival. Three films were screened at the event: Crush Shake (by Jagruti Jethe), Kyunki (by Avinash Matta) and Mitraa (by Ravi Jadhav). Jagruti and Ravi attended the event and answered questions from the audience.
More posts referencing Saathi are here. Also, check out Orinam’s list of LGBTQ campus groups in India, and our resources for educational institutions. Also, please let us know of other initiatives of this kind.
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