According to Dr. Mathew Varghese, professor and head of psychiatry at NIMHANS, there are only about 4000 psychiatrists, 1000 psychologists and 3000 mental health social workers in India. This stark inadequacy, given the population of our country, is compounded by the widespread social stigma attached to mental health issues. Both act together to prevent individuals from accessing the care they need. As if these were not enough, we have to contend with yet another obstacle: negative attitudes of providers towards sexual and gender minorities, women and members of other marginalised groups.

It’s time we talk about this unnerving situation where a therapist denies treatment to a person or shames them for having contradictory views about society or politics, or for their departure from socially imposed gender roles, identities, or normative sexual orientations. Such prejudice targets many marginalised communities, and continues to take a big toll on LGBTQIA+ people, as well as on (cis, heterosexual) women.  Shockingly, very few of these occurences of blatant discrimination get reported in the media.

Pervasive prejudice among healthcare continues to target patients based on caste. For instance, a survey on untouchability in rural India found that Dalits in over 21% of villages were restricted from entering private medical care centers. Dalit women in parts of Uttar Pradesh were barred from receiving health care during pregnancy. A concern for mental health sounds too far-fetched when even basic medical services are denied to the community. Given this bleak scenario, it seems hardly surprising that sexual orientation and gender would be exempt from the prejudice.

Homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny are worldwide phenomena. However, they seem most vicious in societies and communities bound by religious beliefs and traditions that fiercely uphold the patriarchal norm, and dismiss any alternate way of life. This is by no means restricted to India. In August 2016, the Governor of the state of Tennessee (U.S) passed a bill allowing therapists to deny therapy to individuals from the LGBTQ communities. This bill is part of a wave of bigoted legislation across the US that seeks to institutionalise discrimination against LGBT people, such as North Carolina’s Bathroom Bill.

Guidelines such as those of the American Psychological Association (APA) for psychological practice with lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients, adopted in 2011, lay down best practices based on clinical research and experience. They cover social attitudes towards homosexuality as bisexuality, relationships and families, issues of diversity, economic and workplace issues, education and training and research.

Despite the availability of such guidelines, and despite a growing body of evidence suggesting LGBT youth are at high risk for major depression, generalised anxiety disorder, substance abuse, suicidal behavior, sexual risk taking, and poor general health care than their heterosexual counterparts, mental healthcare providers in India and elsewhere treat homosexuality and bisexuality as aberrant conditions to be condemned, or pathologies to be “cured” [see work by Vinay Chandran and Arvind Narrain, and Ketki Ranade]

“I was talking about my nightmares to my therapist and while in the middle of that I accidentally told him that I am a bisexual and out of nowhere he just slapped me and asked me to go away. The incident did make me badly depressed, took a toll on my health and everything. I already have ADD and OCD and that’s what I was seeing the therapist for. So the depression just doubled from there and although now I have overcome it slightly, it still keeps on running in my head.” – Vinay (Name changed)

Such prejudice on the part of mental health professionals is not restricted to LGBT people. Heterosexual women are subjected to a barrage of suggestions and treatment methods that are polluted by the system of patriarchy. Those seeking professional help for issues such as depression get pathologized if they do not choose to live “by the rules”. They are slut-shamed, body-shamed, victim-blamed and coerced to conform to traditional “Indian values”. Such treatment, besides being grossly unethical, ends up vitiating the depression one has already been caged in.

Carelessness can also be observed. Being told to look at the less fortunate lives to overcome depression or adding spirituality to overcome stress, are some of such ill treatments that are thrown around like paracetamol. These heart-rending experiences by two women speak for themselves:

“I have borderline personality disorder. Got diagnosed at a very young age and was taken to several psychologists and psychiatrists. While some gave me heavy doses of medication without hearing me out properly, others gave me huge lectures on morality about how my lifestyle and opinions are very wrong for a ‘girl’ and how I am difficult and should be more passive. I had been in an abusive relationship for a long time and my previous psychologists slut-shamed me for having sex with that person out of marriage and kept calling me “psychotic” all the time” – Shruti (Name changed).

“My first psychiatrist told my parents that, being 24 years old, I should have been married by now and have started a family of my own, as my unmarried status was the root of my depression. He ignored when I said that I’ve very low emotional quotient and it’s very difficult for me to recognize feelings. The second one repeatedly kept asking if there was violence at home and how do I know that I get anxiety attacks. He mocked me in every session. When I informed him about the side effects I have been having from the prescribed drugs, he asked me not to blame the drugs. I then refused to respond to his queries. Finally, he rudely asked me and my parents to leave.” – Priyanka (Name changed)

While minorities in India are still fighting for basic human rights, access to unstigmatized mental health care has become a very significant part of the demand for social justice.  NGOs and community  collectives working on feminist and LGBTIQ* issues can advocate with mental health professionals to generate this much needed flexibility and open-mindedness .

More broadly, therapists have to learn to work non-judgmentally with clients whose social, cultural, political, sexual and religious views may diverge widely from their own. Having biased professionals in the field not only impacts provision of much-needed quality mental health care , but also impedes the ongoing battle for social justice.

Knowledge, sensitivity and a rational attitude towards the client’s personal issues are essential. There is a dire need to include minority, feminist and LGBTQ* issues within academic courses and training. These should include detailed and culturally relevant content on how minority stress and institutionalized prejudice impact women, those of marginalised castes, LGBTQ*,  and other excluded groups.

Such courses are few and far between: the MA program in Psychosocial Clinical Studies at Delhi’s Ambedkar University, and courses in gender and sexuality at Tata Institute of Social Sciences serve as examples. Their importance cannot be overstated, especially in a country where privilege ignorance is so widespread.

LGBT-affirmative psychotherapy has been a tremendous step in helping LGBT clients accept their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. What we need now is to have the regular psychologists comprehend this acceptance. Donald Clark, the first openly homosexual psychologist, says the following in one of his extended interviews:

“Gay people do not grow up in gay families. The vast majority of the time, they do not have any support around who they are. There is nothing comparable in the human experience. It is as if the gay child is the result of having an egg from outer space planted in the uterus of the mother.”

Feminist therapy has its roots in the interventions by women psychotherapists during the U.S. feminist movement of the 1960s. Such feminist therapeutic approaches need to be adapted for the Indian cultural context.

When bigotry of the kind described in this article impedes psychological therapy and other mental health care, it not only worsens the condition of the patient but holds back humanity as a whole. We need affordable and accessible mental health care for those in need, and we surely don’t want to bring social discrimination along with us on this one.

Credits: An earlier version of this article appeared on the Nirmukta blog.

Hear my story,
Turn a deaf ear, shy away
Walk past, plugging me out,
Cry or console my loss,
Chide me, ask me to shut up.
Ignore me.
I still shriek of injustice
I am but a woman.

Call me the goddess, your alter ego,
The prostitute or the slut,
the feminazi,
The woman you can only
dream of bedding, or
The whore you fucked
last night,
Or your mother
I am multiple orgasms
I am but a woman.

Shred my ego to pieces,
revel in chivalry
Or slap me down
grovelling in the gravel
Mould me to your choice
I will be the lady
and the bitch
I am everything.
I am but a woman

Ban my blood and
own my womb
Taboo my body
for three whole days
Seed it with lust the next
I choose to be childless, to bleed freely
I am but a woman.

Don’t love my love handles,
put me down with my weight
My full grown body
an eyesore.
Try me into body issues
I will not fit in
I am but a woman

Say I am too modern,
Outrageous, or too traditional
to suit your tastes
Judge me with the size of my bindhi
Or the way I drape my
Sari just below
my navel, or the swiftness
with which I cover my head
when seen,
Or my six inch heel.
I am the permanent outcast
I am but a woman.

Thrust upon me
masks of masculinity
Penis-obsessed,
your hard rock ego boosts with
each sloppy kiss-
That testosterone high
Fails to stir me enough
I prefer women
I am but a woman.

Shivapriya first read this poem at the Queer and Ally Arts Festival on May 8, 2016, in Chennai. It was subsequently published in FeminismInIndia.

Dear Dr. Solomon Pappaiya,

I would like to thank you for addressing homosexuals as ‘people of the same sex’ in your whiny statement, ‘Did you all see the parade by people of the same sex?’ (Tamil: “டில்லி மாநகரத்திலே ஒரு பாலர் ஊர்வலங்களைப் பார்த்தீர்களா?”) for you helped create awareness on the LGBT community. When I first heard you say those words,

• a) I considered you a great revolutionary on the same lines as C.M. Annadurai who crystallized the famous slogan ‘We are one race and there is one Almighty’. I even imagined that you would go on to inspire the LGBT community to start a campaign, ‘We all belong to one sex. We all are one folk’.

• b) I thought that the coming generations will praise you for having empathised with the voices asking to deliberately drop the idea of gender binary and upped the ante by bargaining for the idea of unisex (the popular notion being that there are only two sexes; male and female).

When you were almost getting christened as a hero in my heart, the words that followed made me cringe as you were making the same error as your previous one in Shivaji movie (where two dark skinned women named after Tamil Sangam literature characters Angavai, Sangavai are humiliated for their skin tone.)

Your speech highlights that you haven’t understood the nuances of terms such as sex, gender, and sexual orientation. Even if you might represent the view of the majority, it is that of an archaic, anti-minority clique. It is surprising that inspite of being a a Tamil scholar, you chose to address homosexuals as what would translate in English as ‘people of the same-sex’. To my knowledge, the only parade where people of the same-sex participate is the funeral procession of the deceased. Even if many consider the parade on 11th December as funeral procession for the dead Indian human rights, I see it as the funeral procession for homophobia and ignorance of sexual orientation diversity. The faithful minions that the two were to you, it is only natural that you could not digest their loss. We swear that we would perform memorial services every year to remind the world of their good riddance. We hope it offers ‘solace’ to you. I would also like to add that the sexual minorities whom you frowned upon are not just present in Delhi but in the nook and corner of Tamil Nadu, the state you belong to.

You went on to deplore western influences in our languages, dress sense, culture, etc. They are your personal opinions and I respect them even though I believe that there is greater good if people share their experiences in a globalised world. I would also like to remind that Tamil has survived and flourished all along notwithstanding the influences from the innumerable languages, dialects that exist within different regions of our country. You added homosexuality to the list of western imports and that it is popularised because of urbanization. It is sad to learn that you claim to have researched on Indian literature but have no introduction to the homosexual literature/ history of this country. I don’t have time to advise/ pardon the homophobes

It is glaring that you seem to be out of sync with present day incidents. To cite an example, with complete information on the damages caused by family system in the recent violence against dalits at Dharmapuri and in Tamil Nadu politics, you speak hysterically against love marriages and free-thought. You go one step further by threatening that love shared by two people could be detrimental to systems like family, marriage etc. You might get applauded for such statements but it only reminds me of a patriarchal effigy. It is disheartening to see efforts of Periyar and Bharathiyar towards creating a society free of gender biases going down the drain. Nevertheless, am confident that the rationalist, free-thinking, self-respect activists of Tamil Nadu would strive hard to prevent your speeches from damaging the progress of our society. Your venomous statement that daughters of well-educated parents ‘loaf around’ and that women should not seek divorce but instead keep the differences to themselves and continue to remain unhappily married are totally unacceptable and I strongly condemn them!
Your statements have hurt the sentiments of sexual minorities and women of Tamil Nadu. It would only be fair to not utter patriarchal statements like these anymore. As the 6 others who shared the dais with you failed to register their dissent, we consider them accomplices and that they share your homophobic, sexist opinions. You all can answer to the questions raised by your conscience for making such divisive, anti-minority statements. I will not listen to the speeches of all 7 of you until I see a ray of change/ maturity in your stands. Even if it is just my opinion, I believe that many in Tamil Nadu would agree with me.

Sincerely yours,
Minority that is disheartened to see that Bharathiyar’s ‘buffoon-like people’ are still around.

They scavenge every day for bread,
Making small talks on the way,
Soaking themselves in bitterness,
Only to see others feel hurt.
They grow senile eventually,
As criminals of spurious sins.
The buffoon-like people they are,
Did you (Shakthi) think I would stoop like them?
-Bharathiyar

“தேடிச் சோறுநிதந் தின்று – பல
சின்னஞ் சிறுகதைகள் பேசி – மனம்
வாடித் துன்பமிக உழன்று – பிறர்
வாடப் பலசெயல்கள் செய்து – நரை
கூடிக் கிழப்பருவ மெய்தி – கொடுங்
கூற்றுக் கிரையானபின் மாயும் – பல
வேடிக்கை மனிதரைப் போலே – நான்
வீழ்வே னென்று நினைத் தாயோ?”
– பாரதி

Thanks: Madhan (Editing, Tamil to English translation)

Inspired by Renee Lupica’s powerful and brilliantly simple Six Fairy Tales for the Modern Woman, we at Orinam have started a thread ‘Fairy Tales for the Queer Desi*’ with the tale below. We invite you to add your stories in the form of a comment below.

Dare to imagine, this Pride season!

QD1. Once upon a time in Chennai, a young woman told her parents over dinner that she liked women, and would like to get married to one, some day. The father shrugged his shoulders and asked “Shall we place an ad in The Hindu’s Sunday matrimonials for you?” The mother said “Adhellaam vendaam!** Indu, we trust you to find someone on your own, at your own time. Just let us know if you want any help planning the ceremony”.

The End.

* Desi refers to someone of sub-continental origin (i.e. from India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Bhutan, Myanmar, Nepal, Bangladesh, or Afganistan)

** Adhellaam vendaam! = No need for all that! [Tamil]

We at Orinam are heartbroken by the recent Delhi incident. We hope things will change for the better and women in India and across the world will be treated with the respect and dignity they deserve.

Orinam contributor Suri and author Mahesh Natarajan share their thoughts on the incident.

Suri says:

“I think Delhi is a land where everybody is somebody. It’s full of politically powerful people. So to reaffirm one’s feeling of power, or to compensate for one’s lack of it, they resort to overpowering the bodies of cows and five-year-olds. It’s just what I think. This has clearly gotten out-of-hand.

And I hope everyone here knows by now that rape is not about sex but about domination. Power. Control. Hence men also rape with objects, i.e, candles, bottle, rods. Hence, disembowelment, strangulation.

It’s not about orgasm. It’s about owning someone or something and proving you are the boss. To yourself.”

Mahesh Natarajan says:

“We make the vagina, penis and anus such mysterious, taboo subjects for kids, teach them male superiority through our domestic lives, popular culture and religion, show them the system is broken, that people do get away with murder, encourage them to put themselves first at all times, demonstrate that it is okay to dump our garbage in the neighbors or the street, that the other is inferior, celebrate sexual conquests and raw machismo.

We systematically take away any natural empathy, leave space for the cruel explorations of power and curiosity, and then wonder how hormone crazed youth go so completely berserk, question what kind of curiosity will need them to shove injection vials and what not in these body parts, why they treat their penises like gods and vaginas/anuses like garbage chutes, or shove their penises wherever, and we are so outraged, we want to hang them.

We need to wake up to this basic need to develop empathy, both in ourselves and in our kids. Safety does not lie only in teaching the vulnerable to stay away from risk – we need to teach empathy to the more powerful.”

 Related readings:

• “This is about you and me”: RJ Balaji on Men
• Ghosts of things past: a male rape survivor speaks
• Age 7
• No more Raksha Bandhan!
• Tamil Translation of Kavita’s speech on Violence Against Women
• Cartoons on Gender Equality

that is the first thing they notice about her
probably the only thing
it doesn’t matter who they are
strangers on public transit, clients at work
the man at the grocery store, the lady in the flower shop

that is the first thing they notice about her
probably the only thing
it doesn’t matter where she is
at work, at movies, at a friend’s wedding
in a coffee shop or a crowded elevator

that is the first thing they notice about her
probably the only thing
it doesn’t matter what she is doing
walking, eating, speaking, listening
even if she is helping them

that is the first thing they notice about her
probably the only thing
a woman at the local Desi store, a complete stranger,
once offered her some unsolicited advice with a friendly smile
“use turmeric powder, when you shower. I did.”
“I can tell,” she smiled back, “you could have had a beautiful mustache like me.”

“Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It’s like having a little pet for your face.” — Anita Wise.

Image source: The Hindu

RJ Balaji, a radio jockey with the 92.7 BIG FM station in Chennai, has podcast his thoughts on men’s roles in the home and how strong beliefs in and reinforcement of gender roles lead to a range of oppressions including the recent Delhi rape and countless other sexual crimes.

We are including herewith a link to the original podcast.

Our hearty thanks to Mr. Balaji for sharing his progressive views, and to Orinam member KMRamki for the English translation provided below.

Even though the discussion of gender roles is in the context of violence against women it applies equally to violence against LGBT people. Strong notions of how a man and woman should be/behave/look are what result in verbal, physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse of those of us who do not conform to such rigidly gendered expectations of society

– Orinam webteam

Being Hu’man’

(English Translation by KM Ramki)

A humble word, to all my fellow men…

I mean, for us to have pride, to feel proud, that we are men.. I don’t see anything there. I don’t know what’s there (to feel pride). You say we can grow a moustache… is that a superior quality?

Some say, “you talk about this now only because it happened in Delhi… will you talk about it if had happened in Chennai, or Thoothukudi or Sri Lanka?” To them, this is not a Delhi, Mumbai, state-over-state, country-over-country issue.

It’s an issue of you and me: it’s a vulgar revelation of what we think in our hearts about women. These rapes, the violence, have become just that. Even if only one in hundred, or one in a thousand men perform these acts, it is true that the rest of us also have  thoughts that we are ashamed of. We don’t say it aloud.

For the first time, we are angrily protesting against something all over India, about something that affects us, with the intention that there needs to be a solution to it. Meanwhile, how long this anger will last, what the results from these protests will be, what will actually be done, is not in your hands or mine.

However, I want to speak as an ordinary man, about what we usually do, how it can create a better environment. That’s what this podcast is about.

We, men, say we are modern thinking, we are youth, etc. Though we praise ourselves so much, but it is deeply rooted belief even among us, that a woman has to cook for me, press my clothes, etc. Even if both of them work, go to sleep after 11.30 in the night, the woman is expected to wake up at 5 in the morning, make coffee, cook and then go to work. But if the guy occasionally cooks one day, he takes immense pride in it. Even today, we think it’s a thing to be (inordinately) proud of for a guy to say he cooks (occasionally). It’s actually nothing special.

Women don’t take pride in saying I cook daily, I press my husband’s clothes, I get my children ready for school daily, etc. We have impressed on them that it’s their way of living.

Do guys boldly say “I work at home, I cook at home, and I see no shame in it. She and I both work”? If we go to a corporate space, and see four women smoking, what comments do we pass about those smoking women? If we see a girl in a pub at night, we know what comments we make about her. Isn’t it all quite shameful?

What’s so ‘manly’  or ‘womanly’ about these things? We claim to be very modern. If a girl comes to the pub with us, she is good, but if she goes with others, she is bad? Smoking or drinking is going to affect everyone’s body and health. If you take a stand, that smoking or drinking is wrong, whoever does it, there is some fairness to it. But you claim guys can do it, but women should not. If I point [the hypocrisy] out, you challenge me, that I don’t know Indian culture and mores. It’s in this country with these vaunted culture and mores, that we are having all these rapes.

The most important thing is for us to reflect on what thoughts we hold about women. To this day, husbands tease their wives if they skip cooking one day.

There is this claim that all these are happening because women dress the way they do. What a shameful thought! A minister or some politician has said that we should ban skirts that schoolgirls wear. This is crazy. A three year old girl and a sixty year old grandmother have also been raped. Were they also dressed for rape?

This is not about the few rapists. This is about you and me. When we were young adults, how many times have we made jokes or passed comments based on the clothes women are wearing, or their physical parts? Has a woman ever made sexual jokes and harassed a guy based on his clothes? They never have that thought. We guys mostly think cheap thoughts.

We always say women are elegant, graceful and beautiful. I don’t know when these tags and adjectives are going to change. Are women nothing beyond these? Who are we to be moral police, to decide how they can dress, and what their dress says about the sort of a character they are? You and I have no right to to blame them, or tag them. It is also immoral to do that. We should understand that.

People ask why that girl was in a bus at 10 pm. Why shouldn’t she be in a bus at that time? Who are we to ask that question? They say things happened because that girl went to a pub at midnight. No, it did not happen because she went to a pub at midnight. It happened because your thoughts are perverted.

In this same India in which we used to give prominence and pre-eminence to women. But now, every woman is expected to fear and be submissive to a guy. It’s become the norm. If a guy does the chores at home, fears his wife, we make fun of him, and make him a comedy piece in our movies. What is wrong with that? What is shameful in that?

The other day, when I said this on Twitter, some guy replied, “Men should be men, women should be women. That will solve all the problems.” What does it mean, “women should be women”? Why should we define what women should be, how they should be? Who are we to do that? This question is for the menfolk.

If you ask me what qualifies to sermonize on this, I partake in all the chores at my place. I wipe the floor, I bathe our kid, I get him ready for school. I don’t feel ashamed of it. I don’t feel a need to boast about the times I cook at home. It’s just a part of my life. When my son grows up, he will not have the thought that women are beneath him, that they should serve him, that only his mother should get him ready for school. I wash my son’s butt. I get him ready for school. I feed him. So, my son, when he grows up, won’t have such [discriminatory] thoughts, and I am responsible for that, as his father. As a man, I will be responsible for the happiness of the women around me. I don’t know if I can change all the men in my country or change the laws here. But I can guarantee that my son will not have [discriminatory] thoughts in his head.

This is not preaching or advising. I cannot watch my TRP for everything. I could just comment on the latest hits and flops. But I am human. This is something that happened in my country, and affected me deeply. That’s why I am speaking out about it. I might have called fifty people and held a vigil. But that would have ended with those fifty people. I wanted to talk to more people. Lots more men. Change is something that has to start with the individual, in every household.

Using the Internet, Twitter and Facebook alone does not make me a modern man. I become a real modern man – a real man – only when I can respect the women in my society who are equal to, or greater than, me. When I don’t define what their role is, I do whatever they do. And I have no shame in doing the chores, beginning with cleaning the toilet. After all, I am cleaning the toilet in MY house.

This is just what I think. It has not been scripted.

I wish you a happy new year.

Dear All,

As you know, the brutal gang-rape of a young woman in Delhi earlier this month has sparked off rallies and protests against such violence across the country. We invite you to come to Besant Nagar Beach on 29th December at 4 pm to engage in a protest and conversation on this violence.

The Delhi incident is not unique. Sexual violence, ranging from indecent gestures, abusive language, molestation, harassment to more overtly destructive and hurtful acts is something that children, girls, women and people who are seen as sexually ‘deviant’ live with. These acts are reprehensible as well as routine: family members, neighbours, community leaders, custodians of law and justice, including the police and armed forces have all been accused of such rape crimes in this country, and with solid evidence.

Rape exists as a sign of authority, of the dominant castes over subordinated castes, majority right-wing groups over minority groups, the personnel of the state over citizens that it holds in contempt or fear. While rape can happen to any sexually vulnerable section of the population, the fact remains that by and large it is carried out by men against women.

In this context, it becomes important to ask questions about the nature of this violence:

• What are the factors in our environment that allow men to be violent and abusive? is it the nature of our development process that produces desperation, poverty, and criminality?

• Are rapists a bunch of ‘deranged’ individuals, or do their acts reflect something more? Are they vicious expressions of a more widely prevalent culture of contempt, hatred, resentment and aggression towards women?

• While we are all united in wanting the police and the judiciary to be more accountable in ensuring that justice is done, are we letting off other sections that are equally if not more culpable in endorsing a public culture of non-accountability? What about the media, for instance? How do we see the media’s role in ‘selling’ every kind of sexual allure through its advertisements, sensational stories and coups, its many programmes that uphold traditional and disrespectful and discriminating attitudes towards women?

Please share this invite with your friends.

RSVP on Facebook: HumanChainDec29Chennai

Regards,

Human Chain Organizing Committee
For further details: Sivakumar – 9840699776 | Aniruddhan – 8939609670

Thanks: Sneha Krishnan, V Geetha and Shri Sadasivan for draft and Tamil translation

Last week in Delhi, a 23 year-old young woman was gang raped and violently attacked by six men in a private bus. The woman’s male friend, who accompanied her was also brutally attacked. The young woman is now fighting for her life and people across India are outraged. At Orinam, we are deeply saddened by this horrific incident. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and we hope justice will be served.

Women are one of the strongest allies of the LGBT movement and at Orinam we consider gender equality and women’s rights very dear to our hearts. We are proud to stand up with women in their struggles and speak up against the inequalities they face. We have done it before and we will continue to do so.

On Dec 19th, while protesting outside the residence of the Chief minister of Delhi, All India Progressive Women’s Association’s secretary Kavita Krishnan gave one of the most powerful speeches about violence against women and the gang rape incident. Orinam.net is honored to bring you the Tamil translation of Krishnan’s speech. (Thanks to Orinam members Shri and Aniruddhan Vasudevan).

பெண்களுக்கு எதிரான வன்முறை குறித்து கவிதா கிருஷ்ணன் தில்லியில் ஆற்றிய உரை

This heartbreaking story has outraged people everywhere. Protests, condolence meetings and vigils are being held in many places around the world, including Ireland and Savita’s home country India. Life-saving medical care was refused to Savita because doctors were constrained by an Irish law that prohibits abortion in the name of religion. Most often, individuals, groups and institutions that advocate anti-abortion laws that refuse women the right to make decisions about their own bodies use religion as their weapon. This oppression based on religion and its influence in health-care is very familiar to LGBT people. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people are often subjected to harmful and unscientific conversion therapies because same-sex attraction is considered a sin in many religions. Religious beliefs also hinder in providing crucial and required medical procedures like sex-reassignment surgeries to transgender people. LGBT people face the same religious bigotry that women face or once faced in many parts of the world. We are discriminated against, treated inhumanely and denied equal rights in the name of religion. We are criminalized, harassed, terrorized and executed in many parts of the world because people believe such practices are justified by their religions or cultures. Historically, LGBT people have joined hands in fighting for women’s rights, because the fights of LGBT people and women are in many ways the same: the fight against patriarchy and the fight to end gender-based discrimination and the fight for gender equality and fairness.

The tragedy of Savita Halappanavar has triggered discussions on women’s reproductive rights across the world. But in India many don’t feel the need for such discussion since abortion is legal in India. However, the legality of abortion is not the only issue at stake. In both rural and urban India, women face many challenges when it comes to their sexual and reproductive freedom and rights, starting from a say in when to have babies (or for that matter, when to have sex). In many marriages, men make most, if not all, decisions in the bedroom, as they do in all places. A woman who initiates sex or expresses her sexual needs is often looked down upon by her husband. There is still this notion even among educated Indian men that a horny woman is a “bad” or “dirty” woman and a “good” one is supposed be quiet and submissive in the bedroom. This notion sometimes even leads to marital rape. Then there is the issue of contraception and family planning. From taking pills to dealing with its side effects, the burden of contraception is most often imposed on women, as men consider it a “woman’s job”. They don’t feel the need to share it, even if it is just a matter of putting on a condom. Though the responsibility is with women, the control still remains with men. In most families, men decide when to have kids. A married woman who wants to delay pregnancy for any reason is condemned by everyone in society including her own parents. And, if the reason were to be her career, then she is almost considered cruel or evil. Once pregnant, especially in rural India, women are also held responsible for the sex of the baby. Not so surprisingly, a girl child is considered bad luck and a burden. Sometimes husbands even disown their wives for giving birth to a girl child, ignoring the scientific fact that the sperm decides the sex of the baby. In some parts of India, female gendercide is also a horrific reality.

When it comes to single women, the views are even more unevolved. Single women who engage in sex are labeled as “sluts” and “whores”. Though pre-marital sex is not looked upon favorably for men either, women always get the worst of the condemnation. South Indian actress Kushboo was condemned, harassed and sued because she dared to make a comment about premarital sex in the context of sexual health. Her comments were considered derogatory and obscene to “Indian culture” and it took the Supreme court of India’s intervention to end the controversy and harassment.

For young girls who don’t engage in sex, things are not that easy either. Menstruation is still considered dirty and disgusting in many parts of India. Women are denied basic amenities in their households (access to shower, bedrooms and places used by others) when they are menstruating. In “those three days”, some women are not even allowed to go about their day to day business as they would like. Though for married women and mothers, this might mean a relief from their daily chores and errands, the disgust about menstruation is something that makes them feel inferior and shameful. Young girls are not allowed to go to schools, play with their friends and are forced to remain in a corner, in their own homes. The irony here is the first period of a girl is a reason to celebrate in many Indian communities. The family throws a party, invites friends and neighbors and the young girl is showered with gifts and jewellery. This “coming of age” party, thrown without the girl’s consent, served as a notice to the community that the girl is ready for marriage, in ancient and medieval india. Though modern India is slowly getting rid of this practice and also the taboo about menstruation, it is important to note that these things still happen in some Indian communities.

Many Indians are sad and outraged by what happened in Ireland. They shed tears for Savita Halappanavar but at the same time breath a sigh of relief: “This will never happen in India”. While that is partly true, let us not dismiss the struggles of the many Savitas living here and the sexism and discrimination they face everyday. Let us not sweep their issues under the carpet in the name of culture, customs, traditions or religion like we always do. That attitude is what killed Savita Halappanavar. When it comes to women’s sexual and reproductive freedom and rights, we have a lot of work to do in India. It begins by acknowledging that these issues exist.

Recommended Reading: Abortion in India Wiki page