Fill in the pro-bono counsellor request form at
https://forms.gle/V4tXzA6FEGBWqo889

Thanks for translation and/or review to Vivek and Janani (Tamil), Rucha Satoor, Dharmakirti Sumant and Radhika Murthy (Marathi), Ruhaan Ali and Shyam B. (Hindi), Dadapeer Jyman and Naren Pai (Kannada). Assamese, Bengali and other translations are in progress.

Note: This article and its translations are community-created and owned resources, and may be shared widely, so long as the link to the original article https://new2.orinam.net/locked-down-safety-self-care-queer-trans/ is included in the republished posts. Updated versions and additional translations will be updated at this URL.

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LOCKED DOWN IN THE TIME OF COVID-19:
SAFETY AND SELF-CARE FOR QUEER AND TRANS PERSONS

The lockdown induced by COVID-19 has caused many of us to be stuck in abusive households with our natal families, or feel otherwise isolated.  We have compiled some tips for safety and self care during these difficult times. These are not intended to be exhaustive. 

1. We may feel even more isolated and vulnerable now than before the lockdown. Being in close contact with our friends and support systems, if at all possible, can help us.
2. In case there are other (less hostile) family members in the area we can explore the option of going and staying with them.
3. Some of us may be at home and have no option to leave. In that case it may be good to try and avoid escalation of issues, such as those around gender/sexuality or marriage.
   If topics of marriage do come up, we can reassure ourselves that the lockdown will prevent  parents from taking us to meet potential partners or inviting prospective grooms or brides at this point in time.  
4. In case of risk of physical threats, we should try to stay as close to the exit door and far away from objects that can be used to assault/harm as possible.
5. If we  have a smartphone,  we can send our location to people we rely on, via WhatsApp or other means. It will help others to reach us in case of emergency.
6. It’s a good idea to keep some cash and our important  official documents handy with us (examples include Aadhaar, PAN, Voter identity card, passport, copy of ration card, Trans Welfare Board identity card, workplace-issued ID, bank passbook, academic certificates, etc.).
   
7. For those of us who experience gender dysphoria, this can be particularly severe if family members force us to dress in ways conforming to assigned gender. Avoiding looking in the mirror may help a little in reducing our distress. If we have photos of ourselves in our gender presentation and preferred clothing, we may consider looking at these. It also helps to have a presence on online platforms where we can be ourselves, such as Second Life and peer WhatsApp groups.  More options for gender dysphoria- related support and interventions will become available after the lockdown.

 
SELF-CARE TECHNIQUES

This section is based on our experiences as community members, peer counselors and/or therapists.

Anxiety and fear during the pandemic can be accompanied by restlessness, agitation and reactiveness, all of which may be temporary or may add to more long-term anxieties. In times of crisis it is immensely important to be aware of our energies, notice our restlessness, anxiety, fear, etc.  

These feelings and emotions are valid and yet, are quite likely to be difficult to deal with. They will come and go multiple times a day. To manage these, so that we experience their full range but prevent ourselves from reacting, here are some suggestions:

DURING A DIFFICULT INTERACTION

• If we are able to convey to the person(s) around us that we need to step away, it will give us an opportunity to go to a safe place (bedroom, veranda, bathroom, terrace).
• If stepping away is not an option, we can try to ground ourselves [for e.g. by holding on to an object or squeezing a piece of clay] and focus on processing and responding carefully, rather than reacting spontaneously in a way that we may regret later.
  
• If we do end up reacting impulsively, it is important to remind ourselves that we are going through hard times, and to be easy on ourselves.  When we find ourselves back in a safe space, that may be a good time to introspect and figure out how to proceed in future.
• We need to find ways to remind ourselves  that the lockdown is a temporary situation, such as marking the duration of the lockdown on a calendar.
• Distracting ourselves with other tasks or activities can help.  However, we need to remember that shelving the difficult emotions may cause them to return later at unexpected times. The subsequent sections “Returning to a place of calmness” and “General practices for emotional well-being” outline  some ways to express our emotions so they don’t pile up.

RETURNING TO A PLACE OF CALMNESS 

Once we are able to step away from the interaction that was stress-inducing, here are some ways in which we can return to a state of calmness. Each of us can find a technique that works best for us.

• Holding on to an object, article of personal value or toy can offer us  a sense of comfort and safety. Sometimes it helps to just keep some clay or atta in the hand and keep squeezing. 
• Listening to our favorite music or reading a favorite author can help.
  
• If we have a dog or pet, petting it can be soothing.
• We can practise some form of breath work to cope with emotions – focusing on deepening and lengthening the breath: such as  three seconds inhale, one second pause, three seconds exhale, trying to increase the duration of the exhalation to a few more seconds than that of the inhalation.  While doing this breath work, we focus on the sensation of the breath, how they feel in the body, etc. More information and links are in the ‘Other Resources’ section of this document.

GENERAL PRACTICES FOR EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

• Starting the day with useful activities and chores can keep our minds occupied and give us a sense of control and fulfilment.  These activities could include exercise, cleaning, washing clothes, arranging rooms: anything that does not need too much thought. While engaging in these activities, it helps for us to keep our focus on the task at hand, and address any challenges that arise in a problem-solving/strategizing manner. For example, while cleaning or  arranging items on shelves, we focus on where to keep what, what items can be kept together, etc. 
• Productive activities such as studying, working, learning  a new language or skills can also help give us a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Noticing sensations (sigh, smell, touch, taste, hearing) while engaging in these activities helps us remain in the present moment. When we become aware that our thoughts have gone to the  future or past, worries, etc., we can bring the mind back using the sensations of the present.  
• An additional benefit of these activities is that they can help us build our safe space and limit difficult and potentially hostile interactions with other people.
• It helps greatly to make breath work (as described in the previous section) a part of  our daily routine.
  
• Physical exercise along with breath work or other kinds of meditation help us to release pent-up energy of any kind in the body.  Good cardio- and weight training can be done at home even if there is very limited physical space. Many video links are available online: some are linked in the ‘Other Resources’ section below. 
• Writing,  sketching, painting,  music, are some of the ways that help us to express our emotions.  
  • An example of  a writing exercise is to set aside a desired time period to write continuously without taking pen off paper.  While writing, if nothing comes to mind, we can just write “can’t think of anything.“ 
  •  Another example of a writing exercise would be to create stories featuring us in the way we see ourselves.

AUTHORS AND CITATION

This document emerged from discussions during a SAATHII-organised Zoom webinar on  LGBTIQA+ crisis response held on March 21, 2020, and subsequent discussions on the LGBTQIA+ 4 Mental Health WhatsApp group. The author list is arranged alphabetically by last name. Our suggested citation format is: 

Balasubramanian1,  S., Banerjee2, S.,  Borah3, R.,  Raju2, A., Ramakrishnan4, L., and A. Sarkar4 (2020).  Locked Down in the Time of Covid-19:  Safety and Self-care for Queer and Trans Persons. https://new2.orinam.net/locked-down-safety-self-care-queer-trans/

• Shyam Kamala Balasubramanian is with the Orinam collective, and based in Coimbatore
• Shilpi Banerjee and Avanish Raju are with Being Myself Clinic in Gurugram
• Rituparna Borah is with Nazariya: a Queer Feminist Resource Group, Delhi
• Amrita Sarkar and L. Ramakrishnan are with SAATHII in Delhi and Chennai, respectively

COMMUNITY SUPPORT

Every  Saturday, Nazariya QFRG organises zoom calls with queer women and trans* persons to check in about their mental well being. Do write to nazariya.qrfg@gmail.com to know more about these meetings.   Similar online meetings for LGBTIQ+ persons are being organised by Good As You  in Bangalore (https://www.facebook.com/goodasyoublr)   and Orinam  (orinam.net@gmail.com) in Chennai. SAATHII offers information and peer support via helpline@saathii.org

OTHER RESOURCES 

Books, Articles and Manuals
Banerjee, Shilpi and Raju, Avanish (2018). Stress Toolkit. Being Myself Clinic, Gurugram. Online at https://new2.orinam.net/stress-toolkit/

Great Good Science Center (undated)  Mindful Breathing. University of California at Berkeley. Online at https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/mindful_breathing

Kabat-Zinn, Jon (2013) Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition): Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness.  Bantam Books, New York. ISBN-10: 9780345536938, ISBN-13: 978-0345536938

Videos on Mindfulness

Kabat-Zinn, Jon (2020)  Mindfulness, Healing, and Wisdom in a Time of COVID-19. Online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2efOoRF_pw

Segal,  Zindel (2016) Three-Minute Breathing Space. Online at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amX1IuYFv8A&feature=youtu.be

Kabat-Zinn, Jon (2011) The Healing Power of Mindfulness: talk at Dartmouth College. Online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_If4a-gHg_I

Videos on Physical Fitness

Lewis, Lita (2018) 30-Minute HIIT Cardio Workout with Warm Up – No Equipment at Home | SELF. Online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml6cT4AZdqI  

Fitness Blender (undated) Free Workout Videos. Online at https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos

Not just a minuscule minority hankering for our “so-called” rights, India’s rainbow communities have an opportunity to step up in solidarity with another group in need of support – the survivors and displaced among Kerala’s citizens – who have been affected by the worst floods to hit the state since 1924.

There are many avenues to lend support to flood-affected Keralites through monetary and other means: see here and here.  The Orinam collective seeks to collect amounts of up to Rs. 100/- per person and send the collection to the Kerala Chief Minister’s Distress Relief fund. Every rupee matters. Please leave us a message here, email orinam_dot_net_at_gmail_dot_com, or WhatsApp +91 9884373433 for transfer details.

The Orinam collective seeks to collect amounts of up to Rs. 100/- per person and send the collection to the Kerala Chief Minister’s Distress Relief fund. Please leave us a message here or WhatsApp +91 98843 73433 for transfer details.

If you are able to contribute larger amounts, you may consider directly contributing to the Chief Minister’s fund. If you would like to get in touch with LGBT+ groups in Kerala involved in on-the-ground response mobilisation, please connect with  Queerythm in Thiruvananthapuram and Queerala in Kochi.

As we await our constitutional rights via the pending Supreme Court verdict on Section 377 and a NALSA-compliant Transgender Rights Bill, let us continue to discharge our constitutional duties by contributing to the ongoing crisis response in Kerala.

Figuring out answers to such questions, living and working in a world that is often unfriendly and sometimes outright discriminatory, can mean a life lived in the shadows. For the Indian LGBTQIA+) community (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Intersex, Asexual and other), in addition to the social and familial prejudices, the legal framework is oppressive, leaving little room to find safety and protection. Conflicts between one’s internal reality and the way the world is, can be a source of major distress [1]. We are aware of many instances of suicide and suicide attempts among community members that were prompted by such distress.

While support groups and queer-friendly counsellors do exist in India, particularly in the metros, there is a need for more support including channels of trained peer supporters in the community.

Peer Support may be defined as the help and support that people with lived experience of a minority group are able to give to one another [2]. It may be social, emotional or practical support but importantly this support is mutually offered and reciprocal, allowing peers to benefit from the support whether they are giving or receiving it. It is built on the premise of empathy and personal experience.

Peer support and professional mental health support can complement each other through two-way referrals [3]. Increasingly, LGBTIQA+ community groups are receiving referrals from psychiatrists and counseling psychologists who ask their clients to reach out to such groups to obtain peer support and reduce their sense of isolation.

With the goal of building a strong peer support system in mind, a group of organisations and collectives based in Bangalore and Chennai, including professional counsellors, peer supporters and diversity/inclusion professionals, have taken the following
steps:

1. Initiated 3-4 hour workshops  for LGBTIQA+ community members and allies to orient them on peer counselling principles: The workshops have been conducted in Bangalore (January 7, 2018) and Chennai (February 25, 2018) so far. Participation is capped at 20 per workshop, and is open to those with prior exposure to providing peer support, as well as those who would like to engage in the future. Workshops are multilingual and held in accessible venues. At present they are funded by community donations and a participant fee (sliding scale, including waiver, available).

2. Building a referral network of peer support individuals: A WhatsApp^TM group has been created with all the peer supporters who attend the workshop and agree to be part of the network, to ensure that there is an ongoing effort to reach out to people who could benefit from support. The group also intends to function as a safe space for people to exchange best practices around peer support and build their capability as peer supporters.

Organising entities include InnerSight, Diversity Dialogues, and Orinam. The Chennai workshop was co-organised with Nirangal and focused on the role of peer counselling within the larger crisis support framework. Reading materials created to help build understanding around peer support may be downloaded from https://test.orinam.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Feb25_2018_LGBTIQA- Peer-
CounsellingHandouts.pdf

Note: These community-initiated workshops are not the first of their kind. To our knowledge, previous workshops of this nature have been organised in Chennai (2008, 2009), Kochi (2016) and Imphal (2017). The present set of workshops has been motivated by an increase in individuals seeking support, mobility of individuals especially among southern states – that calls for a referral network of peer counsellors (in addition to those involved in crisis intervention), and several reported instances of suicide and suicide attempts in the past year.

References

[1] Natarajan, Mahesh. 2017. Coming out vs Fitting in: Mental health and the LGBT person in India. White Swan Foundation. Online at
http://www.whiteswanfoundation.org/article/coming-out- vs-fitting- in-mental- health-and-the-lgbt-person-in-india/

[2] Mental Health Foundation. year unknown. Peer Support. Online at https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/p/peer-support

[3] Pattojoshi, A., BB Pattanayak, and L. Ramakrishnan. 2017. LGBT Mental Health: The Way Forward.The Odisha Journal of Psychiatry 2017 issue: pp. 2-8. Online at http://odishajp.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/JOURNAL-BOOK-2ND-EDETION-NOVEMBER-2017-16-Version.pdf

On the evening of Friday, March 2, 2018, Coimbatore saw the public screening of ‘Ladies and Gentlewomen’, a Tamil documentary film. Directed by Malini Jeevarathnam and  produced by Pa. Ranjith’s Neelam Productions, ‘Ladies and Gentlewomen’ is the first effort in the history of Tamil cinema to break the silence around the dynamics and body politics of lesbian relationships, which are often socially stigmatised. Also screened were ‘En Aasai En Kanavu’ and ‘Won’t the Real Transformers please stand up?’, two short films on the lives of transmen and transwomen.

These screenings were organised by Queerbatore, a collective formed in 2015 by a few individuals who were part of the Orinam mailing list and network. Queerbatore is now an active WhatsApp group and offline space for people belonging to the LGBTQIA+ community who either live in Coimbatore or have a personal/professional association with the city.

The event commenced with a song rendered by Shyam, a volunteer of Queerbatore.

The song was followed by the screening of Malini’s film.

Post-screening, Vivek Kumaran gave an informative presentation on gender and sexuality to make the audience aware of LGBTQIA+ terminologies. Vivek also urged the audience to  be sensitive, respectful and accepting of persons with diverse identities and to address them by their preferred choice of pronouns.

This was followed by the panel discussion featuring Kalki Subramaniam, Selvam, Vinodhan,  Malini Jeevarathnam, Saurabh Masurkar, and Srijith Sundaram.

Representing the transwomen, transmen, intersex, lesbian, gay and ally communities, these panelists come from different walks of life. What they have in common is their extensive and passionate work for the welfare of the LGBTQIA+ community through their engagement with art, theatre, film, media, activism, advocacy and life.

The intention of this interaction between the panelists was primarily to make people within and outside the community aware of the diversity of identities that exist under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. Kalki, Srijith, Malini, Selvam, Saurabh and Vinodhan passionately spoke of the challenges, breakthroughs and experiences in their personal and professional circles. The audience was also encouraged to accept whoever they feel they are and to live without the fear of anyone.

Most of all, this event was an Out and Loud call to people from all sections of the society to stand up and unite against oppression on the basis of sex, gender, caste, race, appearance, personal choices or, for that matter, violation of any human right. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

In the video excerpt below (courtesy Prasanth), Kalki speaks about gender stereotypes within the community, followed by a discussion with Srijith on queer history and intersectional activism.

Thanks to the Queerbatore volunteers who shared the images above.

People’s Union for Civil Liberties; Coalition for Sex Workers, Sexual and Sexuality Minorities’ Rights; Payana; ASQ; Swabhava Trust; LesBit; Jeeva; Karnataka Transgender Samiti; Karnataka Sexual Minorities Forum; Sarathya; Swatantra; Ondede; Sangama; QAMI and QCI condemn the irresponsible, sensational and salacious reportage by media houses on the issue of LGBTQIA+ rights.

On Wednesday, July 5, Bangalore Mirror published on its front page a news item titled “All hell breaks loose as two women wed in Koramangala”. The news item proceeded to give a one-sided account of the women’s relationship. It published salacious details about how their relationship started and went on to falsely claim that the women had gotten married. Further, the news item mentioned two quotes from lawyers saying that they were in an “unnatural union” and would be “punished”, and only one from a lawyer, who was misidentified, saying that same-sex relationships per se are not criminalized under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code 1860.

At the same time, Public TV, a Kannada news channel, also obtained the contact details of one of the women, and called her to appear on their show. When she refused, stating that she wished to keep her life private, the reporter from Public TV told her to “wait and see”. Subsequently, Public TV uploaded perfunctorily blurred pictures of the women on their Facebook and Twitter feed, with captions insinuating that they were in an incestuous relationship. Public TV continues to harass one of the two women by constantly calling her and demanding that she appear on this show.

In case anyone is doubtful about the repercussions of such irresponsible reportage – one of the women was fired from her employment with immediate effect, within a few hours of the Public TV report.

As civil society organisations that work on the rights of LGBTIA+ individuals, we are horrified at the absolute lack of concern that media organisations demonstrate for the lives of people that they are reporting. We know that this is an incident that involves tremendous amounts of domestic violence and abuse. We are also aware that these women are living in constant fear for their lives. They have endured domestic violence, police harassment, and threats to their lives, and had achieved a semblance of peace for themselves. However, the actions of media houses have shattered this hard-earned respite, and now they are again forced to be on the run.

This is not the first time that media houses in Karnataka have chosen to report in this manner. TV9s reporting on Operation Anandi had devastating impact on the lives of the transgender women involved, some of whom continue to languish in jail. Media houses refuse to acknowledge actual human lives in their reportage, and absolve all responsibility for consequences. Every time a media house publishes a report like this; LGBTQIA+ persons are pushed further into the closet, and are made more vulnerable to violence.

Moreover, we understand that the police themselves have leaked much information to the media. It is disconcerting that in spite of closing all formal proceedings, the police continue to interfere in the lives of these women, and are harassing them using the media.

As a group of civil society organisations concerned for media reportage and its impact on the rights of LGBTQIA+ persons, we are calling for a press conference tomorrow, July 6, 2017, at 1 pm, Bangalore Press Club.

Organisations: People’s Union for Civil Liberties; Coalition for Sex Workers, Sexual and Sexuality Minorities’ Rights; Payana; ASQ; Swabhava Trust; LesBit; Jeeva; Karnataka Transgender Samiti; Karnataka Sexual Minorities Forum; Sarathya; Swatantra; Ondede; Sangama; QAMI and QCI

Timeline of media coverage (credits Rōmal Lāisram)

Bangalore Mirror published this on July 5: http://bangaloremirror.indiatimes.com/bangalore/cover-story/all-hell-breaks-loose-as-two-women-wed-in-koramangala/articleshow/59448986.cms

Public TV goes live with the story a few hours later, claiming an incestuous relationship and highly sensationalises the story: http://publictv.in/father-files-complaint-against-homosexual-techie-sisters-in-bengaluru/

News9/Deccan Herald and TheNewsMinute call up activists for directions on how to respond to the story:

News9 responds positively like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5LVfgU6pCQ

TheNewsMinute responds satirically: http://www.thenewsminute.com/article/completely-out-their-depth-bengaluru-cops-counsel-lesbian-couple-instead-helping-them-64710

Deccan Herald decides to avoid the story altogether.

Public TV airs a special (link not yet up, but this smaller package will show you enough how terrible the reportage is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnGBVsHu3p0 | It was also their ‘breaking news’ in the) 10:30pm bulletin)

The Chennai Pride march will be held today (Sunday, June 26, 3 pm) and will commence from Rajarathnam stadium in Egmore. A Pride march FAQ is here and the event page is here.

A meet for transmen and their families, facilitated by Magdalene Jeyarathnam from the Center for Counselling will be held on June 29, as part of the annual series Muzhakkam.

On a sombre note, the mass shootings at a gay club in Orlando, Florida, USA, sparked protests world-wide, including nearly 15 in India.  Reflections on this tragedy and the pervasive homophobia and transphobia we see took shape in Chennai at a vigil held on June 14 at the Press Club, a queer poetry reading on June 24, the Vannangal cultural event on June 25 and this lovely pride promo video made by Malini Jeevarathnam and friends.