In the journey from Zakir to Aqsa, I have lost many things-

1. I have lost my immediate family. Other than my mother, I do not have any meaningful relationship with any of my family members. My brother and his family have boycotted me. I need not elaborate on the importance of having a family. I don’t have one.

2. I have lost my relatives. I have no communication with any relative and have not met anyone for many years now. They are not aware of my transition. All my family members and relatives are blocked on social media. Do you enjoy the company of your uncles, aunts, and cousins? I am not even allowed to meet them. I have stopped going to my hometown of Mumbai and my relatives are not allowed to visit me here by my family.

3. I have lost my friends. I have lost some of my closest and best friends simply because I decided to be myself.

4. I have lost money. Transition is not a cheap affair, especially since the facilities are not available in govt hospitals. I have invested lacs of rupees in my transitioning.

5. I have been afraid of losing my job. Yes, you read this right. However progressive may we call ourselves, I was afraid I may lose my job because the name on my degrees doesn’t match my new legal identity.

6. I have lost social connections and respect. It is difficult, exhausting and uncomfortable to be brave everyday, to explain to every person and to face their reactions. How do you avoid this? You retreat into a shell. I may appear confident but I am a timid tortoise who wants to go back to my shell in a jiffy at the smallest of sign of danger.

7. I have lost security. Being a non-passing trans woman puts me at risk of verbal, physical and sexual harassment every living day of my life. Not all fears come true but not all fears are invalid.

8. I have lost respect and popularity. Many many people who used to appreciate me previously now don’t even look at me and their eyes speak to me what they think about me.
An abomination.

9. I have lost my ability to be a biological parent. In the current circumstances, that is not feasible. I have lost the right to contact my nephew who was also my foster child and whom I raised for 5 years

10. I have almost lost the chance of finding a loving life partner. It is very rare for persons like me to find a suitable match – a loving life partner who would accept me and love me the way I am. All I get are creeps.

Now, though I have lost so many things, I am happy and satisfied with my decision.

And if, hypothetically, I were in a similar situation again, I would choose what I chose, again.

 

 

 

I first met Jessy in January 2017, at a queer film festival in Egmore. She was introduced to me by a friend.  It was around 9:30 pm by the time I left the venue after the screening. I began looking for a bus to get home to Tambaram, but wasn’t able to find one. Jessy, who had booked a call taxi, kindly offered me a ride back, as it turned out her home was in the same locality.

On the way, Jessy and I got to talking about our respective genders and sexualities.  I came out to her as gay, and spoke to her about my life and loves. She even counseled me about relationships, asking me to be cautious while choosing guys, and not to get married if I wasn’t interested in women.  We exchanged numbers. During the ride, I kept addressing her as Akka. She, however, asked me to call her Amma. I obliged, but felt a little awkward about it, then.

We continued to stay in touch via phone calls and text messages after that meeting. After one particularly intense conversation, she said “I truly feel like you are my son…  maybe we were mother and son in our previous births.

Over time, I grew more comfortable with calling her Amma. In February, about a month after we first met, she invited me to the home she shared with other trans women (thirunangais), and introduced me to her guru and trans sisters.

One day, as I was showing her my photos of my art work that I had on my phone, she asked me if I would make a sketch of her from one of her favorite photographs. I was happy to do so. She has framed the drawing and kept it with her.

I have encountered many gay guys who harbor fear and disdain for thirunangais. They try to discourage me from meeting Jessy, cautioning me that others will misinterpret my association with her and other thirunangais.

But I don’t care what they say.

She is, after all, my trans amma.

Biswajit Nath was the managing editor at News Next One, an online digital media portal from Assam. In the video, a kinnar (trans woman) is seen outside a wine shop and Biswajit Nath, who is recording the video, confronts her and asks her where she lives, and who “runs her”. He continues to publicly harass her and abuse her. He asks her “real name”. He even asks her to take her clothes off to prove that she is a “real” kinnar. The video ends with him shouting and screaming at her.

The video was brought to the notice of Xukia by concerned citizen/ally Abdul Kalam Azad and queer activist Rafiul Alom Rahman. Together we were able to raise enough outcry on social media.

The news channel initially replied saying that the journalist’s action does not represent the channel’s stand, that they respect everyone’s rights, and that the video did not appear on an official page of the channel. On March 10, the journalist retorted that he had simply “initiated a discussion” and that there were a lot of fake kinnars.

Finally, we sent a written complaint to the channel.

Some reminders later…

…they acted on our messages, and took action, by terminating Nath.

Kudos to News Next One for acknowledging that the practice was unethical, and for taking action against Nath.

This happened because people together raised their voice and ensured that the transphobic journalist and the channel are made accountable for their actions.

Orinam’s note: Taken together with other examples as the multi-city responses to the TV9 debacle of 2011 in Hyderabad, and protests against a homophobic 2013 piece by Mohana Krishnaswamy in The Hindu, Xukia’s incisive intervention in this News Next One episode illustrates the power of community and ally action in opposing queer-/trans-phobic media coverage and demanding accountability. Please let us know of other examples of community interventions such as these. Do check out (and contribute material to) our guidelines for ethical media coverage of LGBTIQ+ issues in India.