But Nadika, you are aware that a bi-gender person actually likes being male too. You did, in your story, to a certain level, express discomfort and I quote you;

“Every day I have to shave, every day I am perceived as a man is hurtful. Every day I look at myself and see a man in the mirror is debilitating. I cannot wait to be seen as a woman.”

And I am in no way inferring that you have disdain for your penis/clit, rather I am saying that being bi-gender means wanting/desiring both male and female traits in a body. I should know, I consider myself gender-fluid. I take pride in my beard, my body hair and my manhood (excuse me for being forward), but honey, I can’t live without my false eyelashes, my eyeliner, and my mascara too! I have boobies and wide hips that I am proud of and sometimes flaunt AND I like that attractive male sexuality that my beard and body hair gives me. Try “Google”-ing Rupaul Charles if you don’t already know him/her. He/she is the epitome of gender fluidity.

One more thing that somehow tells me that you may not know what I am actually talking about is the fact that you used the term “PRE-op” whereas I used the term “NON-op”. There’s a difference. A PRE-op transwoman is a person who would eventually take that final step of going under the knife whenever and if ever she chooses to. But a non-op transwoman is a one who has, for whatever reasons, chosen NOT to undergo the reassignment surgery (I hate using the prefix gender or sex with reassignment surgery). Being a non-op transwoman makes you NOT one bit lesser than the glorious woman you are!!! I can very well see that you own that!

And at the end of the day, this is merely me, passing on some knowledge that I have, to you. When I sat down and decided to figure out who I am, I had to read for hours and hours, circling a point and getting stumped over and over again. I am just trying to help you out with the little that I know. Not implying that you need any help though.

I apologise if I used strong language, derogatory terms or seem just plain stupid or standoff-ish. That was never my intention.

You be whoever the f**k you wanna be darling!

And please keep writing!

I enjoyed it immensely.

PS: Look up Carmen Carrera too. She is a-MAH-zing!!! Her story might just inspired you!
By the way, pansexual refers to sexuality not gender identity, pansexual means sexual attraction towards all types of genders (male, female, and anything in between). Queer is an umbrella term for everything non-binary including both, gender identity and sexual attraction.

Thank you Valan!

Thank you! I do know of the term pre-op Tg. While it may be a good descriptor, I don’t think it fully covers my experience/my identity.

I think I prefer the term Bi-gender. I am Bi-gender, pan-sexual, demi-romantic and pretty queer.

I’m just revealing the possibility that you might be a ‘non-op transgender woman’. Look it up if you don’t already know.

And I love that “I-don’t-give-a-f**k” attitude honey because at the end of the day, few people will actually cry with you.

Best regards,
Hdaran